These two weeks in Nepal have been every bit interesting, even strange. The culture is so different from anything I’ve experienced. I wouldn’t call it strange- just unfamiliar to me. What is strange is the sensations and processes of being alone in such unfamiliarity without an effective way to communicate or have meaningful interactions. This strangeness is added to by the knowing that there are people so close who are like-minded and would provide a sense of community, yet I have not been able to get in contact with them.
I would not be able to be here or do this if I didn’t fully trust the Lord. I am so grateful for His mercy and grace to strengthen me and help me in my weaknesses. I look back on my journey up to now and it is so clear how the Holy Spirit has guided every step. I have had so many encounters that could only be by His orchestration. So many moments of things going smoothly and easily that shouldn’t have. In light of all of this, this thing that is needed before me is such a small and easy thing which I trust the Lord to complete.
I am content to be where I am- “alone” in the quiet- knowing that Jesus is with me and that is more than enough. However, I know that there is so much more purpose for this season than this- God knows. Of course I am always looking and praying for opportunity to do good for the Kingdom of God, to let my light shine and to walk as an image of the love of God. I also believe that a lot of opportunity for this will come with joining the Body of Christ here.
I trust the Lord and am honored that He has brought me here in His timing. I wouldn’t trade anything for this precious journey with Him. At the same time, it would be untruthful to pretend that I don’t miss my friends and family, especially now during the holiday season. It comes and goes, and this morning it came very strongly while I was in a time of prayer. I would like to share it from my journal:
12/03/2025
I cried for the first time today since starting this whole journey. In prayer, just being honest and vulnerable with the Lord and myself about how hard this time is. He is so gracious and merciful to allow me to feel and express these things, giving space for me to see and know my weaknesses; and even more so to comfort me in my need. He showed me how full the room is with my heavenly family- the Father, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and many witnesses. He reminded me of His love for me, His view of me where I am. My thought leading into this exchange was “Lord is it okay to cry?” After the moment of vulnerability and comfort He answered, “Yes, it is okay, just know that I always love you.”
This interaction was very healing for me. It is the deepest I have felt that I am not alone. It was so clear that my Father sees me, hears me, is with me. He cares for me more than I can understand. Even in my limited understanding, He teaches and reminds me all the time. After that moment, I had an understanding that this is the place and the moment in the spiritual part of this journey that I have needed to come to in order to move forward.
Hours after this time of prayer, I received a message from the people I have been trying to contact. I know that this is the beginning of seeing much purpose come to pass for this season. I look forward with so much anticipation to seeing how the Lord will move and shape His work in Asia and in me.
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Awesome! Also very encouraging to me personally. Thanks for sharing the deep things. Truly you are un-lost!
I’m so proud of you Stella! Answering the Lord’s call is always difficult but so rewarding! Praying for you and you journey! Keep sharing!
I love reading about your journey and the way the Lord is moving you, working in you and through you, Stella. You are indeed, not alone. You’ll be in my prayers. Ah, un-lost ❤️🔥 I love it, my prayer and desire to indeed, lose myself in Him, where I am truly found. God bless you and keep you 🤍